Last Friday morning, I was busily preparing for a weekend away with just the girls in my family. My mom, my daughters, my nieces, my cousins, and I were escaping to a long awaited beach retreat! The 8 of us were so excited to have this time together since last summer we never got this summer reprieve.
I had my huge to-do list before we left at 11 am that morning.
The list included:
Morning Run
Pick Summer Vegetables
Water all of the Gardens
Chat with my Brother
Finish Painting an Iler Woods project
Pack Last minute Items for the Trip
Breakfast Prep
Complete Iler Meadows Proposals
Get Car Rental with my Mom. . . .
By 9:30 am I was right on track, I let everyone know I would be back in 30 minutes with the car. This is the moment I wish I could reverse.
I walked out the front door, decided to check a text message while I was walking down the 3 front steps. . .
Well, I made it down the first 2 steps, but sadly, missed the last step. I tumbled to the cement walkway, and 3 days later I am in a boot and crutches.
Moments like these, knock you to your knees, literally. I wish I could go back in time and not check my text messages. I wish I could have thought for a few more seconds, and realized it was not a good idea to walk and look at a cell phone. But, as you know, accidents are not planned out. If you had a few more moments to think, 99% of the time, the accident probably would not have happened.
So, I had to dig deep and really think what is the silver lining behind what happened?
I could not drive the car, I couldn’t go to the beach, I couldn’t swim this past weekend, I couldn’t walk to town to the cafes, I basically couldn’t do anything we had planned for the weekend.
But what I could do is observe how life is going for everyone else. I still went on the trip. I hobbled to multiple park benches and I watched.
When something is stripped from you abruptly, you quickly realize how important it is. I have family members who are physically disabled, needing wheelchair access. However, I didn’t realize how hard it is to find curbs, that are wheelchair friendly. I realized how quickly that our society can make it tricky for physically impaired individuals. As I made my way to breakfast and went around the perimeter of the parking lot to avoid the curbs, I was completely out of breath using my crutches. I had just run 3 miles a day ago and now I couldn’t make it 50 yards.
Health is a gift. This is what I am taking away from this minor dip in the road. I have such admiration for individuals who have overcome physical challenges, health disorders, or chronic illnesses. This past weekend, I longingly watched people jog across the street, climb stairs, or wade into the ocean.
When my daughter was little, she read the biography of Bethany Hamilton, pro surfer who survived a shark attack. My daughter wanted to be Bethany Hamilton. She would go to school, with only one arm in her shirt sleeve, hoping to portray Bethany. She would say “I want to be STRONG like Bethany.”
Interesting perspective from a child. Perception of strength and perception of attitude. I am trying to have a different view. This past weekend, I perceived myself as weak, a bit helpless, and not the woman I usually try to portray. . . independent and strong.
Today, as I wake up with a limp in my step, I realize that a big accomplishment of taking 5 steps without crutches is like running the half marathon I did 2 years ago.
So, different perception of strength? Yes
Different perception of attitude? Definitely
I found this quote that I think I need to post on my fridge during my couple weeks of recovery and as a daily reminder of how to live. . .
Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.
Khalil Gibran